Ways to Relax Involving Flowers

Thanks to the chaos and hectic lifestyle inherent in today's world, we are often looking to learn new and effective ways to relax. A new car, bigger house, or expensive plasma TV might all be good choices, but are usually impractical ones. So what would be a cost-effective alternative that might end up being even more effective in the long run? Flowers are the answer. When you are seeking ways to relax, look no further than a florist. Scientific studies have proven that flowers help to lower stress levels and increase our overall feeling of well-being. In addition, they are known to cleanse the air of pollutants and chemicals, meaning that they are one of the best and healthiest ways to relax. Simply decorate your home and garden with beautiful floral arrangements and you'll find yourself relaxing in no time at all. A decorated home will also allow friends and family coming by for a visit to find their own ways to relax. They will appreciate the bright atmosphere and clean air and enjoy the great time they have there. If you're trying to make up your mind about ways to relax while at work, you may wish to think about bringing in flowers to the office. You can place a few plants around your desk, hang them from the ceiling, or decorate doorways and corner spaces with stand-up varieties like the snake plant. The beauty of flowers will also make what was once boring and bland seem more exciting and pleasant, providing you with more ways to relax in a place where we often find it very difficult to. If you're curious about finding more ways to relax using flowers, go online or contact a florist. Their site will allow you to browse their selection, and their staff will be more than happy to use their experience to help you pick the best flowers for your home or office. In addition, a florist can improvise new ideas based on descriptions you provide of settings in both places. So remember, whenever you're thinking about ways to relax without spending thousands of dollars on new electronics, consider flowers as an option. Not only are flowers natural and healthy, they also lend a beauty and elegance to any room in your home or office. You'll appreciate their soothing presence and the cleaner air that they provide, meaning that you'll perhaps not need to find more ways to relax - you'll have everything you need already! If you're interested in these suggestions about new ways to relax and brighten up your life, contact a florist today - they'll be eager to assist you!

Give Me the Symptoms of Stress - How Flowers Bust Stress and Improve Lives

You're here asking this website to give you the symptoms of stress and we're going to do exactly that. Then we're going to go one step further and show you how you can use flowers to alleviate them. Give me the symptoms of stress from commuting The first details we're going to give you involve the symptoms of commute-related stress. We're all familiar with this since many of us commute or know someone who does, which is what makes it so easy to give you these stress symptoms. There are any number of things that can give you the symptoms of stress, not the least of which is the daily routine. You get up early every morning, leave your home and drive to work, often leaving your city entirely depending on location. Putting up with the traffic and noise can give you any of the symptoms of stress, including: headaches, nausea, depression, fatigue, irritability, even a general inability to concentrate. It's always best to consult with a physician when experiencing symptoms as they very suited to give you treatment for stress. Continue reading while we give you some more symptoms of stress caused by different stimuli. Give me the symptoms of stress from the office We're all extremely familiar with stress symptoms being the result at work, and it's the most likely environment to give you them. Coming to the office day after day for years on end wears down even the best of us, which makes it no surprise that the place will give you many or all of the symptoms of stress. Irritability is a big issue with workplace stress, which can itself be caused by other symptoms such as ones that give you insomnia. Other stress symptoms work can give you are headaches, migraines, dizziness, nausea, disorientation, loss of appetite and even more serious things like stomach ulcers. Work is perhaps the most notorious culprit since it is known to give us all the symptoms of stress on a regular basis. For more details about the symptoms of stress, contact your family doctor and have them give you some detailed information. Give me the symptoms of stress from home One unfortunate reality is that even our home life can give us the symptoms of stress. Marital problems, children, house maintenance, bills and more are all likely candidates to give you stress symptoms, and are perhaps the hardest to overcome in our daily lives. Family and friends are with us all the time, which makes it a challenge if they give you stress symptoms. An ornery spouse, misbehaving kids or dilapidated home can all add up to give you a great many stress symptoms, especially if you suffer from all of them at once. Again, consulting with a doctor about stress symptoms is the best choice, since they are most qualified to give you information. This article, however will give you some extra useful advice for dealing with the symptoms of stress. Read on to find the answers that you seek. Give me a cure for the symptoms of stress We can't promise to cure stress symptoms entirely, but we can give you a very good strategy for alleviating them. The answer lies within flowers. Scientific studies have proven that flowers have beneficial health effects by cleaning the air and triggering pleasure centers in the brain thanks to their pleasant appearance and aroma. This combination can give you relief from the symptoms of stress. A decorative arrangement or beautiful bouquet of flowers would suit your office nicely, and will also serve the dual purpose of helping to increase productivity while there. This will give you an advantage come bonus time, since the company will owe you something for helping to reduce stress symptoms for everyone. Flowers at home can give you relief from the symptoms of commute-related stress by being a welcoming presence in the morning, and can help give you daily relief from stress symptoms with their constantly pleasing presence. If you would like to know more about how flowers can give you effective relief from the symptoms of stress, call a local florist today. They'll be happy to help and lend you their services!

Unique Baby Gifts - Why Flowers Make the Perfect Gift

Nothing can be more important than the health and safety of your child, which is why the early years of their growth are so crucial in their development. During this stage you're going to want to make sure that your baby has only the best stimuli to help along his or her development. This article will suggest some unique ways you can do this through floral gifts. Why to use unique gifts to help speed the development of your baby The early stages of development for babies are the most crucial in ensuring they grow up to be strong, healthy and intelligent. There are many ways to accomplish this, many of which are used best in combination with one another. One tested and scientifically proven method is to surround your child with interesting and positive stimuli to help support their growth. This isn't exactly an old theory, since the basic mobile you hang over a crib is an example of this tactic. The mobile is just one example of something interesting and unusual to catch your baby's interest and to help develop his higher cognitive functions. As a mother or father you're probably here looking for additional and unique gifts for your baby. We have some great suggestions which are detailed below in the second half of this article. Our ideas focus around using flowers and floral arrangements to liven up your baby's nursery and bedroom. The natural beauty of flowers combined with their air-purifying qualities and pleasant aroma make them a great choice for gifts to give your baby. For some unique suggestions continue reading below, where we've outlined for you a few ideas. Flowers as unique gifts for your baby Flowers make perfect unique gifts for your baby. They have so many advantages that it's not only wise to consider them, but actually recommended by doctors and professionals as a surefire method of improving your baby's developmental environment. There are a large variety of floral displays parents might wish to consider, and outlined here are several that we recommend for you. Including the health benefits of having living air purifiers in your baby's room, a bouquet of fresh flowers will provide a pleasant blend of colour and aroma for your family to enjoy. Consider a bouquet of something light and pleasant, suitable for a baby's room. You can also design personalized arrangements that can be hung on the wall or elsewhere to help decorate and liven up the room and furniture. The baby's name surrounded by flowers, perhaps, or a heart made out of blossoms. Customized baskets are another fun way to provide your baby with unique gifts to speed along their growth. A basket could include flowers, scented candles, and a teddy bear along with a card or other special item of your choosing. If you have any questions about the best floral arrangements to choose, your local florist would be happy to provide their assistance. Where to find unique gifts and more for your baby With the high level of importance attributed to the growth and development of our children, we need a reliable place to turn when we're shopping for beautiful and stimulating things for them to enjoy. Fortunately for you, the local florist has everything you require free of hassle or a need to spend lengthy hours hunting around for just the right thing. As a mom or dad, you want to be able to devote as much time as possible toward spending with your baby, which is why florists strive to offer unique gifts that you can all enjoy without fuss. The high level of customer service you can expect from a florist is due to their years of experience and genuine desire to help brighten you (and your baby's) day with beautiful arrangements of flowers and other unique gifts. If you have any questions about what might be a good choice for your baby, feel free to call or visit a florist's shop. They'll be happy to use their expertise to help suggest the right arrangement or basket for your needs, and will also be able to point out other possible combinations you might not have considered.

How to Get Rid of Warts

You might have been suffering from warts for some time and only finally got your courage up to go and talk with your doctor about it. But now you want to know how to get rid of warts. This is a question which has plagued many people the world over, and the answers you get back are in some cases astonishing. To begin with, on the topic of how to get rid of warts, you have a few main choices to make. These go along the lines of whether you want medical treatment in the form of prescription medications and surgical treatments, or whether you want natural remedies to help you get rid of your warts.You have the option of trying out treatment methods such as Acupuncture, Acupressure, Herbalism and Ayurveda amongst other things. These are normally classed as Naturopathic treatments as they deal primarily with natural - as opposed to chemical or surgical - treatment methods. If this doesn't appeal to you, you always have the other two options open to you, that of medications and surgery. If you're wondering how to get rid of warts through medical procedures, don't worry there are many treatment options available to you. These range from prescription medications such as Imiquimod cream, Podofilox gel, Interferon, and Trichloracetic acid to Polyphenon and Fluorouracil. There is also the option to go the surgical route in your campaign of how to get rid of warts. These options include, but are not limited, to surgical excision, electrocautery, cryotherapy, laser therapy, and Loop Electrosurgical Excision Procedure (LEEP). All of these methods have been known to work in getting rid of the physical signs of warts. If on the other hand you want to go through with natural treatments and remedies, you will find that there is no shortage in that field either. You will be able to find out how to get rid of warts using these methods from a qualified herbalist or a naturopath. Some of the better known methods of how to get rid of warts includes the use of garlic. This Nature's wonder drug can normally be found in your kitchen and if you can just stand the pungent smell you can get rid of warts by peeling and halving a garlic clove and then rubbing it on the affected area. You will need to do this at least twice a day until the warts are gone. If you're wondering how to get rid of warts without the use of something as pungent as garlic, you also have the option of using herbal tinctures, or suppositories. The tinctures can be bought form a naturalist store, or you can even make it yourself. As for the suppositories these are best made fresh at the time of needs. To find out about suppositories you can either ask your herbalist, or naturopath, or you can get this information on how to get rid of warts from other sources such as herbal remedy books.

The Various Testing Methods Which Can Help Physicians to Diagnose HPV Warts

When a person contracts the HPV infection, at times it can be difficult to diagnose it as such. This is due to the fact that some people might not display the physical signs of HPV warts, or they might not display the signs in a clearly visible area.It can also happen that some signs of HPV warts are mild and not visible to the naked eye. For all of these cases there are various testing methods which can help physicians to diagnose whether or not a person has genital HPV warts. The most common method of testing for genital HPV warts is through a visual examination. The physician will be able to determine through a visual exam whether a person might have genital HPV or not. If however, the person is not displaying the physical signs in the form of HPV warts, but displays some of the other more commonly associated signs of genital HPV, the physician will proceed to the next step.Depending on a variety of factors this can be a cervical smear, or a colposcopic exam. In some cases the physician will first daub some acetic acid over the suspected area. This in turn will turn white any HPV warts which may be present in the skin but which are not readily discernible to the eye. This state of being almost invisible can arise as result of the HPV warts being small, or even flat in size and appearance. For the most part though, HPV warts will be largish in size and sometimes have a cauliflower like appearance. Some HPV warts will be flesh colored lesions, while others might take on the appearance of an angry red rash at first. HPV warts come in all shapes and sizes, just as HPV warts testing methods comes in a variety of forms. These go from scientific medical treatment methods to natural, folk or home remedies. HPV warts are highly contagious though, so if a person displays signs of warts they should have a medical examination as soon as possible. Sexual intercourse should also be avoided with a partner who has genital HPV warts, and this includes vaginal sex, anal sex, and oral sex. HPV warts spread through skin to skin contact and so can spread to a partner if sexual intercourse is not avoided until the infected person is cured of HPV warts. It's also a good idea not to use or share the towel or other personal items such as clothing of a person who has genital HPV warts. This state of affairs should continue until the HPV warts have been cured or removed. Any toweling, clothing and linen which came into contact with the infected areas should be laundered separately for maximum effect.

What You Do When You Display Signs and Symptoms of Male Genital Herpes

If you are displaying signs and symptoms of male genital herpes, you might want to consult with you doctor to first confirm that you do indeed have male genital herpes and not a rash. And if you do indeed have male genital herpes you will also want to abstain from having sexual relations until your infection is cleared up. Male genital herpes is a sexually transmitted disease and if you indulge in sexual intercourse whether it's anal, oral or vaginal sex, there is a better than even chance that you will pass the infection on to your partner if they don't already have it. This is due to the fact that genital herpes will normally manifest itself within the first few weeks of infection. You can also contract male genital herpes if you have multiple sexual partners, or you come into contact with someone who has the Herpes Simplex Virus. Male genital herpes is also called HSV, and there are two different types of the herpes virus. These are known as type 1 HSV, and type 2 HSV. You would normally get the type 1 HSV infection in and around the mouth and nose area, and the type 2 HSV infection in and around the genital area. Due to a number of circumstances however, one of which is the fact that more and more people are indulging in oral and anal sex, the two different types of herpes can more frequently be found in either area. Male genital herpes symptoms include sores and blisters on the genital area, and pain when urinating if the urine passes over the sores. Some people also experience additional symptoms of fever or a flu-like feeling, a burning pain, muscle aches, back pain, and headaches. Some people also find that they have swollen glands as well as a pressure in the abdomen and discharge from the penis. There is no cure as such for a male genital herpes infection, although there is medication available to help with the signs and symptoms of male genital herpes. For the most part though, you will need nothing stronger than painkillers to help you deal with the symptoms. Some people will also have recurrent male genital herpes symptoms. These can sometimes recur until the immune system has had a chance to fight off the herpes virus from the body. You can also get recurrent male genital herpes if you come into contact again with an infected person. However, some lucky people won't even know that have male genital herpes. Due to the mild nature of their symptoms they will most likely mistake their symptoms for that of a rash and not male genital herpes.

How to Start Bodybuilding

Bodybuilding can be intimidating to a beginner. You don't have to look on the internet for long to realise that everyone is preaching something different. So it's common to see people umming and ahhing before actually hitting the gym. After all, no one wants to waste their time in there. While bodybuilding is a very satisfying experience, it does require hard work. And even if the newbie does decide to enter the gym, it's still pretty intimidating. The sight of massive guys strolling around can be a bit hard to deal with for many insecure, young guys. So it doesn't really surprise me when I get the question "How to start bodybuilding?". It's pretty simple really, read on to find out the exact steps you should take when wanting to start your own bodybuilding journey. The first thing you need to decide is what you want out of it. Are you a skinny guy who just wants to beef up a little? Are you already pretty solid, but you want to maybe lean up a little? This is important because it determines your diet, which is a very important part of bodybuilding. Some would say even more important than training! The second is to truthfully acknowledge your level of committment. It's ok if you are not 100% serious about it. As long as you realise this and know that you won't have a body like a pro if you don't train like one. The third step is to educate yourself a little. This can normally be a pretty tricky exercise, but since you're already at this site, you're on the right track. You can be sure that I'm telling you the truth, because I'm not affiliated with any supplement companies or bodybuilding magazines. I have nothing to gain out of telling you lies, so why would I? Once you're educated, it's time to come up with a plan. You first need to get your diet in order. You can find lots of information on how to do this in other articles here. I'm not going to go into a good diet plan in this article. Next, you need to come up with a workout plan. Once again, if you've gone to the trouble of educating yourself, this should be a piece of cake. Once you understand the actual principles behind designing a workout program, you can make them all day long. The next and final step is obviously the most crucial. If you don't actually complete this step, then you'll never reach your goals. Can you guess what it is? Actually go to the gym and workout! If you can head into the gym knowing that what you're about to do is the best thing for you, then you will never feel intimidated at all. In fact, you'll be so pumped and full of confidence, you'll be unstoppable!

Do Children And Adolescents Get Depressed?

Unfortunately, the answer is yes. Depression is much more common in children and adolescents than once believed. For reasons that are not well understood, there has been a trend toward an earlier age at onset of depression (and manic-depression) in people born since the 1940's. Also, clinicians are doing a better job of looking for and recognizing depression in these age groups. Quite often, depression in young people consists of the same symptoms as found in adults. At times, however, the diagnoses may be more elusive. The youngsters may not recognize the discomfort that they are experiencing is an illness known as depression. Although young children may not be able to express their sad mood in words, they often show it with persistent sad expressions. Other indications of depression in young people are loss of motivation and enthusiasm, fatigue, difficulty making decisions, social withdrawal, weight change (up or down), irritability and anger, deterioration of school performance, truancy, acting out and behavioral difficulties, and physical complaints. Families or teachers may recognize behavioral changes indicative of depression even though the youngster may deny being depressed. Whenever depression is suspected, the child should be evaluated by a doctor experienced in working with this age group. Just as in adults, depression in young people can have a number of causes, and recognizing these causes can lead to very effective treatments. Recognizing and treating depression in youngsters is especially important considering the critical stages of development they are passing through. Also, there has been a disturbing increase in suicide in adolescents over the last few decades, and although suicide is quite rare in children, it does occur. Treatment for childhood and adolescent depression are the same as those used in adults and include psychotherapies, medications, and combinations of both.

Fun for the kid's, Fitness for the family

In this day and age that is packed with indoor activities like video games, the internet, and endless television shows, a trampoline can be a valuable asset to the family. A trampoline allows your children to have an outlet for their energy - and to get exercise. By using an outdoor trampoline, children have a place to go relax, have fun, and get in better shape. It is not only children that can benefit from a trampoline. Adults can use it too, and it is a great method for exercise and enjoyment - bouncing on an outdoor trampoline can provide many benefits to people of all ages. Trampolining is an excellent way to get fitter and healthier. You can improve your strength, flexibility, balance, co-ordination, agility and confidence. Trampolines are a source of real fun for self and family. However, it is very valuable if one knows exactly what shape, size or type of trampoline, the different safety precautions one needs to take for a safe exercise routine. On top of that, the forces going through your legs and hips help to build bone density giving you stronger bones. Trampolines are not as dangerous as you might expect providing that you use them correctly. Trying to do too much too soon isn't a good idea... your body needs time not only to learn new moves safely but also to adapt to the new stresses being put through it.

Body Building: The Benefits Transcend mere Vanity

"If you're not going to improve your appearance for yourself, then do it for other people. After all, they're the ones that are stuck looking at you all day." I don't recall where I saw this quote about vanity (or lack thereof) so I can't give credit where it's due. However, I've thought it amusing ever since I first ran across it a couple of years ago. But aside from the hidden value that this humorous quote brings forth, there are benefits in your quest for physique improvement that rise far above what most of our society deems as nothing more than superficiality. These are not obvious at first glance, so I'd like to take the time to point them out. The Health Benefit This is no secret, yet sometimes we need to be reminded. Just about every major disease in modern society - from cancer to diabetes to heart disease - is linked in one way or another to lugging around too much body fat. Getting lean and in-shape can dramatically reduce your risks of contracting one of these life-threatening maladies. So why not frame this fact in a selfless manner? If you or I were to fall over dead prematurely from an obesity-linked disease, how many loved ones would miss us and to what intensity? How much unnecessary heartache would we cause just because we never got around to getting our physical act together? This is not a pleasant thing to dwell on, but it definitely shows a more magnanimous side of getting a 'hard body'. The Performance Benefit When you're in shape, you'll be able to perform better at EVERYTHING. And I'm not just alluding to your private life. I'm talking about your career. I'm referring to you becoming a high-performance person in everything you do; having a sharper mind, requiring less sleep, feeling more energized for the people you love. And there we go again with the less vain side of having a nice body. Generally, the nicer looking bodies tend to perform at a higher level too. So when you become more dynamic and your career and social performance goes up - just think about all the increased value you'll bring to the lives of others. The Discipline Benefit Perhaps better than anything, you'll develop a blueprint for life success and hardwire it into your physiology. How might that positively affect those around you? I know of a 70-year-old bodybuilder who has been hitting the iron since he was a teenager. He just happens to have no more than a 7th grade formal education. Would you like to know something interesting? He's a multi-millionaire businessman. This guy is a real estate mogul, a gym chain owner, and he leases out a fleet of lear jets. He has to be one of the savviest businessmen I'm aware of and he credits all his business success to the lessons he's learned from bodybuilding. That's right - bodybuilding! He says that bodybuilding can teach you how to set goals, use discipline to move toward them, and develop the patience to wait for the results. This is the same basic formula that's required for succeeding in business or politics or starting a youth development center or becoming a good golfer or anything. In fact, when you think about it, bodybuilding is human creation in its rawest form. It consists of only you (the mold), some equipment used for the process, and the desire, goals, and strategy to make it happen. And that's one of the ways that it provides its own unique reward. You see; success in every other endeavor requires us to pull out a trophy or provide a demonstration of our skill. But with physique development, you'll carry the rewards of your hard work and discipline wherever you go. Your trophy is your improved body. So what does that do? It tells the world that you're a serious contender in the game of life. It clearly illustrates to everyone that you have discipline. You possess the ability to create a vision in your mind and make outer circumstances eventually match that vision. That's powerful! And just think about the inspiration that can give to the lives of people you care about.

Spa breaks: a fantastic way to celebrate

If you're searching desperately for an original idea for a birthday bash or a bachelorette party, you'll understand that it can be difficult for a host or hostess to come up with an idea that will knock your guests off their feet. However, there is one party idea that is sure to impress your guests, whatever the occasion: the idea of the spa party has gradually gathered momentum in recent years, and more women - and men - are indulging in a bit of pampering with their pals as a way of celebrating an important occasion. Traditionally, day spas and spa resorts are zones of relaxation, where guests can unwind and enjoy a host of luxurious care treatments, including facials and massages. But while today's spas have connotations of significant luxury and indulgence, historically, "spa towns" in Europe were visited for health reasons. The name 'spa' originates from the town of Spa in Belgium, which was famous for its hot thermal baths (hydrotherapy) and mineral water treatments (balneotherapy). While the healing property of spa waters was, for the most part, a European phenomenon, many hot springs across the United States have properties that are suitable for hydrotherapy because of their high mineral content. Today, the modern spa has evolved into an attractive tourist destination, while the scientifically-proven medical value of spa waters and hot springs makes them popular as rehabilitation clinics. Spa parties can involve groups of all sizes - from few to many people - and can be a great way to get friends to relax together and take some time out from their daily routines. In fact, some modern day spas are often considered as much like beauty salons as centres of tranquillity and peacefulness. Common treatments available at a spa include massages, facials, waxing, aromatherapy and skin exfoliation. Spa massages are particularly popular, especially with groups of friends on a spa outing. The range of massages available at spas today is immense, with various massage techniques from a number of countries on offer: Chinese, Japanese, Indian, Swedish and Thai massage techniques are falling into prominence in many spas, and each offers its own specific benefits. Reflexology, or "zone therapy", is also gaining popularity at spas across the world. This is the practice of stimulating points on the feet and hands that are believed to be beneficial to other parts of the body. The "design contour", which uses anti-ageing body treatments to generate heat and circulation, is also becoming fashionable. Opt for a spa birthday celebration or a spa bachelorette party to show your friends how to have a good time with a difference. Many spa facilities offers weekend vacation packages and bridal packages in some of America's most exclusive locations; so if you think a hotel spa break may be out of your reach, think again. Men and women alike will adore the peace and tranquillity that a day at the spa can afford.

Drug Abuse - Much More Common Than We Might Believe

In this country the term "drug abuse" is a very often misused term. When you hear or read the term "drug abuse", what pops into your mind? Things like cocaine, heroine methamphetamines, marijuana, and crack, right? And you think of completely out of touch 'junkies' living on the streets, selling whatever they can for money, right? Or, at least the types of drugs listed here to be the 'real' drugs, right? These are the drugs that people abuse, right? Drug abuse in the form of alcohol, nicotine, and prescription drugs is actually much more prevalent in our culture, but no one wants to talk about that. If you have a six pack in the comfort of your own home, you don't abuse drugs, right? If you smoke cigarettes, while disgusting, you're not thought of as a drug abuser are you? If you take a pill everyday, that a doctor told you that you could take, and that pill alters your 'reality' somehow, is that drug abuse? No none of these things are considered 'drug abuse', but the reality is that they all are. Alcohol, nicotine, and prescription drugs are all just what this article is aboutdrugs. And if you practice any of them everyday or use them to alter your reality at all, you abuse drugs, its as simple as that. Many people don't want to admit to this, but it is the truth. When I used to smoke, I would say that I'm no different from someone who uses cocaine on a regular basis. The fact was that I abused drugs. I obviously abused nicotine because I smoked every hour of so. I abused alcohol because I drank beer everyday. I was as much of a drug abuser as the guy who uses heroine everyday. That's the cold hard truth that most people don't want to face up to. Then when I quit both practices, and my head finally cleared up, I realized that I was engaging in both practices to escape reality in some small way. I used to say things like, "a cigarette relaxes me." Through quitting, I realized that this was a lie. And the exact same thing was true with alcohol. The bottom line is that I was abusing both of them and knew a lot of other people who were as well. Bit since my behavior was looked upon as 'normal' by society, it was okay. My point to this entire article is that drug abuse is much more prevalent than we want to believe, and just because we're told that some things are normal, that doesn't mean that those things are the right thing for us to do. Remember what Bo Bennett said and let it ring in your heart, "Every day, people settle for less than they deserve. They are only partially living or at best living a partial life. Every human being has the potential for greatness."

Coping With Spouse's Sickness

Marriage vows aptly have the clause of undying love and togetherness in sickness and "in health." Though most of us do not take it very seriously, often the very edifice of a marriage is tested on this particular clause - when one partner falls prey to a serious illness or is the victim of an unfortunate accident and is bedridden for weeks, or more. Lori, a friend of mine, was just married for two months when her husband Steve met with a fatal car accident on his way back from office. He suffered a spinal injury and was advised bed-rest for three months. The couple who had just started enjoying marital bliss was initially shattered. But Lori soon took control and saw to it that Steve did not wallow in self-pity. She tenderly nursed him back to health and made his forced bed-rest as comfortable and enjoyable as possible. As a result, their marriage started on a very stable foundation and they are a very well-adjusted couple today. My cousin Debbie's story is different. She was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her husband of ten years, David, who was very loving earlier, suddenly changed overnight. He became morose and withdrawn. As Debbie's condition started to deteriorate under chemotherapy, David surprised everybody by asking for a divorce. He said that he could not survive without sex and wanted to opt out. Needless to say, Debbie was absolutely shattered beyond words at his callous attitude and gave up the will to live. Life, as we know, is not a bed of roses. Our body is a biological machine and may have a breakdown any time. In today's age, when most families are nuclear, it falls upon the spouse to take care of the partner when he or she is sick. Prolonged illness or confinement to bed puts forward a lot of physical and mental challenges that one has to cope with. Here are few tips to help face the situation: Have a positive attitude: However upset you are, do not show your feelings to your sick partner - it will only make him or her feel worse. If necessary, have a good cry in another room or on a close friend's shoulder. Show your partner your positive side and tell him or her that he or she will get better soon and things will improve. It has been medically proved that patients can hasten their recovery process with a strong will. Talk of your future together and don't let the other person brood. Encourage friends to drop in: Human beings are social animals and need the company of others. Encourage your spouse's friends or colleagues to drop in for a chat and leave them alone. Your partner will feel better after such interactions. He or she won't feel left out. If necessary, tell them in advance not to talk about the illness but about other topics of common interest. Enlist help: When my uncle was diagnosed with cancer, my aunt became totally housebound as he needed 24-hour care. She slowly took up offers of relatives and friends to sit with uncle for a while so that she could attend to other jobs including bank work, shopping for groceries, cooking, washing, tidying up the house. She started keeping a "timetable" near the phone and slotting time periods to people, so that she had some leisure for herself. Since uncle was drowsy most of the time, the helper could read or watch TV while keeping an eye on him. Aunt always thoughtfully kept a flask of coffee and some biscuits for the reliever. Looking after a patient day in and day out can get very stressful; so don't try to take the entire burden on yourself. Accept the situation: It is really no use wasting time on thinking "what if" or "why has this happened to me?" You cannot undo the situation. Read self-help books, if necessary, or do meditation to calm yourself. If required, go to a professional counsellor to help deal with the situation. Many people take the help of a priest or a trusted senior relative or friend, the family doctor or a support group. Don't let feelings of frustration or hopelessness overcome you. Look beyond the period to when things will be back in normal shape. Financial problems: Medical emergencies are often a drain on our financial resources. It is always advisable to go in for a medical insurance scheme early in life. But even insurance does not cover all expenses. Keep some money aside for such emergencies. If you must take a loan, consult someone knowledgeable who can guide you. Don't take impulsive decisions which may negatively affect your family budget for years to come. If the patient needs to take a particular medicine for a long time, get it from a wholesaler which will save you a lot of money in the long run. Make the patient comfortable: Make the room bright, airy and cheerful. Change the bed linen frequently, and use fresh, brightly-coloured ones. Keep fresh flowers in a vase. Don't allow the room become dark and damp. Let in sunlight, draw back the curtains every morning. If possible, position the bed near the window if there is a good view.Keep the room neat and clean, and get rid of all clutter. Keep medicines in a closed cabinet as it is often depressing for the patient to see rows of medicine bottles displayed next to the bed. Access to TV, newspapers and magazines will make the patient feel he or she is in touch with the outside world and help recovery fast. If he or she is fond of reading, get books from the local library or from friends. Keep a music system handy so that, favourite numbers can be played. If he or she is a movie buff, this is the time to watch some CDs. Keep water, fruits and some biscuits at hand to save the patient having to callout to you each time something is needed. Make sure that the patient changes fresh clothes everyday and "gets ready" every morning and does not lounge around in night-clothes or with an unshaven face. Resolve emotional problems: It is quite natural that either or both of you will go through your own individual grieving process as your dreams and ambitions start changing. Though you may face a temporary downswing in your relationship with each other, take control of your emotions. Now is the test of the strength of your love for each other. The very foundation of your marriage is being tested. Don't shy away from talking to each other - communication is very essential in such situations. Don't resort to tears, fights, accusations or denials. Focus objectively on the situation and together workout a strategy to cope. If necessary, take the help of a professional counsellor to minimise the conflict and pain in the relationship. Reorganise your life: If you are also a working person, don't hesitate to go back to work once your partner is better. After all, there is a limit to the leave you can take. Make arrangements with someone (mother, mother-in-law, sister-in-law or paid help) to look after the patient while you are away at work. Talk it over with your partner before you take a decision. Make sure that you spend quality time with him or her after your working hours so that, he or she does not feel neglected. My friend Anna's husband, Jeff, would go to the club directly from office every day while Anna lay in bed at home recuperating from a fatal attack of jaundice. His excuse? He felt claustrophobic in a sickroom. Poor Anna felt totally neglected and unloved, and her road to recovery was an uphill task. Sexual needs: Sex is the basis of a good marriage. Don't feel shy to discuss sexual issues with your partner. If you can't indulge in the actual act, hold hands, cuddle and kiss, to keep the sexual fires burning and your feelings for each other very much alive. A word of caution - this is the time you may be tempted to have a fling or an affair because you are vulnerable. Guard against this, as it will cause untold emotional damage. Involve the family: Involve the entire family early on in care-giving. Encourage the kids to spend time with their sick parent. Their chatter and anecdotes will liven up the patient's day. If you have relatives in the same town, enlist their help too. Call your in-laws over, if required. Don't take all the burden on your shoulders - you are to keep the family spirits up and help the patient to cope. Conclusion: Health and sickness are two sides of the marriage coin. Illness can strike anyone at anytime without any warning. If handled with maturity and sensitivity, a partner's sickness can strengthen a relationship. If not handled with care, it can rock the very edifice of a marriage. So, face the challenge offered by such a crisis and live happily ever after.